Wifely duties

MP: M’sian men have affairs as wives ‘neglect’ duty

Malaysian men have extramarital sex because of ‘wives who neglect their responsibilities’ to their husbands, a Malaysian lawmaker told Parliament on Thursday, reports AFP.

“Husbands driving home after work see things that are sexually arousing and go to their wives to ease their urges,” said independent lawmaker Ibrahim Ali, as quoted by online portal Malaysiakini. “But when they come home to their wives, they will say, ‘wait, I’m cooking,’ or ‘wait, I’m getting ready to visit relatives’,” Ali said.

“In Islam, wives are supposed to stop everything to fulfill their husband’s demands.”

Ali heads Perkasa, a right-wing Malay nationalist group seeking to protect ethnic Malay dominance in politics. His strident comments came as he asked about plans by the government’s religious development department to educate wives on their responsibilities. Wives failing in their duties pushed men to go to “private places to satisfy their urges”, he said.

Source: The Daily Chilli (April, 2011)

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Politicians in Malaysia certainly never fail to amaze. Every. Single. Time. Heh.

What made this bugger say what he said in public, to the media is beyond me. Have you not thought of how your words may be taken verbatim and posted everywhere? Have you not thought of how embarrassing it may be when people start criticising you – your intelligence questioned?

Gosh. Help us. I am sure this has gone global and non-Malaysians are sure to think that people in Malaysia still live on trees.

Stop everything to satisfy your urges? Jeez.. what if wifey is cooking for your kids? Or wifey is feeding your kids? This mentality is so backward. Your wife is not an object to satisfy your urges. She needs to be respected and if she does not feel like having sex with you and you force her, it is rape. Moron.

I wonder if the same applies to the wife. So, if hubby is too busy with work to ‘satisfy’ her, can she seek satisfaction somewhere else?

 

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Life? What life?

OMG… I have been working and working non-stop. And in between, dash off to some travels, report writing, budget planning, agents visiting and how could I not forget – assignments. Thank goodness this is going to be my last elective. And after this – right after I hand this assignment in – I move on to my new job. Busier, I suppose, but luckily all I have left for my MBA would be the thesis. I guess without much need to memorise for exams will be easier. I remember telling my new boss – all I need is just a laptop and internet connection. Well, I certainly hope so!

These days, it seems that I come home just to eat and sleep. No time to even read the newspapers nor watch TV. No time to clean my room nor pay my bills (opppsss… bills!) It’s getting kinda ridiculous that I pay almost RM1k for the mortgage every month and all I do in the house is eat and sleep. Sometimes, I don’t even eat!

Gosh. Can I have my life back please? Is this going to be worse?

I think I’ll go for another massage one day before I leave Monash

Intellectually inept

Well, this is the only term I could think of to describe you. Yes, you. Although you are not malicious and your intentions are always good, I can’t bear to talk and listen to you sometimes. How you can be where you are today really amazes me. Is this how people last long in a cut throat environment? Being totally oblivious to the fact that people around you think you are stupid?

Ah well, I must admit that there are times when I am turned speechless by the questions you ask and things you say. Although it is no fault of yours and it doesn’t do much harm, but it does have an impact on me.

I want to learn and grow and I don’t see this opportunity with you. I want to be intellectually challenged, to learn on a daily basis and to be given a chance to grow instead of just delivering. After all, this is what progression is all about, innit?

But if you can’t provide me with these, I get really frustrated. And bored.

And if I get frustrated and bored, I look for opportunities elsewhere.

Update 19/3/11:

An opportunity has arrived! But now, I’m in doubt. Just like the nagging doubt I had when I came over here from BC. Will I be able to cope? Will I blend in the environment?

I know this opportunity is something that is too good to be missed. And I’d probably regret it if I didn’t take up the challenge. The boss I’m going to work for is tough, I know him.

And it’s flattering to know that he values me so much that I am offered a job in less than 2 weeks after I submitted the application.

Sigh. I hate making these sort of decisions.

But then again, looking back at all the geram-ness I’ve been experiencing currently, this is something that I should move on to should I want to learn.

A child's future

I was having my facial last Thursday and as usual, chatted with my beautician. Our conversation somehow led to the topic of education. She is pregnant with her second child and lamented to me on how expensive things are nowadays and how difficult it is to bring up a kid, let alone two.

So, I was just telling her to start saving money now – perhaps start on an education fund – because her kids’ education itself is going to take up a whole lot of money she can ever imagine. If her son says he wants to become a doctor, it would cost her close to RM1 million just to send him overseas.

She was of course shocked and went into the denial stage where she commented that her son might not be the studious type and might not become a doctor.

So, I told her about my cousin – who didn’t like to study, who didn’t do well and whose parents thought that as soon as he gets out from Form 5, he’s going to work. So, this boy joined some entertainment company and was trained to become a magician. He loved the job, and learnt fast. He was talented. Thus, ambition wise, he wanted to go overseas to sharpen his skill.

Alas, the parents could not afford it. There are no courses he could learn here and even so, there might be no future. In this country, I mean.

If he could train overseas, perhaps he could be the best. He could join companies like Disneyland around the world or even Universal Studios as a magician. He is now with Amway while freelancing as a magician. Sad, but true.

Anyway, to my dismay, she didn’t get the point. Rather than realising the importance of saving regardless of whether her child likes studying or not, she proceeded to comment that she wouldn’t want any of her child to move away from her, let alone go overseas.

Shocked, I asked if she didn’t want her children to be successful and if there are no opportunities that they like here, what were they going to do.

Shrugging, she just said that probably she’d ask them to start a small business and get on with life.

I wanted to scream – but it’s their life! what if they are unhappy?! are you going to make them stay with you just because you want them to be with you?! – but didn’t.

Jeez…. I didn’t want to be mean but I could not believe that there are still parents who are so shallow.

I told my mom this and she just said – it’s not up to her anyway. when your child wants to leave you, they’d leave. Which I think is really true.

I might not be a mother yet, but I feel that parents should always think what’s best for their child(ren). If they need to leave you for greener pastures somewhere else, then be it. True, you’d feel devastated, longing for their company, but isn’t that how life should be? I don’t think my parents would ever stop my brother or I if we need to leave the nest for a better future. Maybe it’s just different with some people.

I wish she’d see that someday.

Datuk???

I don’t think I am the first blogger who posted a comment on this, but I just couldn’t resist putting down this piece. This will probably be the funniest snippet of ‘Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah’ ever in the future. Shah Rukh Khan being conferred Datukship?!

I presume then, all Malaysians, especially those who have stepped foot overseas, should be ‘crowned’ a Datuk. After all, we went out to promote Malaysia, right? I, for one, (and I am sure others, too) spoke highly of Malaysia when I was studying in the UK. I promoted Melaka, Penang, East Malaysia and of course, KL.

Or, maybe I should be ‘knighted’ by the UK authorities. I went to UK 3 times – no joke man! – around Europe once and also promote the UK every day! I tell people of my wonderful experience as a student and tourist there and make them wanna go! Certainly this is more contribution than Datuk Shah Rukh Khan, right??????

So, gimme my Datukship now!

The plunge

I have been considering. A little before I went on my trip and more so after I came back.

Considering whether I should upgrade myself and start on my Masters.

Well, obviously, it isn’t an easy thing to do. Studying while I am working, that is.

Anyway, I have been thinking about it even a few years back and had attempted to apply for financial assistance offered by my company but failed. Now, it is no longer available.

With my heavy workload in the office and a mortgage on my back, I wondered if taking this huge step was a worthy investment. Those who have gone through the same process advised positively, but warned that the sacrifices that comes with it are not for the undetermined.

But, of course, having an upgraded qualification will definitely be worth the sacrifices. (OK, OK, I am also saying so because I market education and you will have to believe in what you market, right?)

I have done some researches and the course I wanted to take previously was a MSc Customer Service Management. Well, since I am no longer very much customer service, I am thinking of getting a MSc Marketing instead. I don’t really like subjects pertaining to strategic or finance management, so, an MBA is out of the question.

Yea, no doubt the MBA is the ultimate qualification to have, but it is also more costly and what’s the use of an MBA if I don’t want to end up as a CEO or Director one day. Nah, I am not that ambitious. A specialist Masters would be more appropriate.

And since I like subjects that Marketing has to offer (and hopefully would be able to do well and cook something up for my assisgments) I thought of Marketing. Initially, I wanted to take up International Marketing but the closest thing that is available in KL and also a study centre that is near my workplace is a MSc in Marketing.

The damage? GBP5,000. Gulp.

I wouldn’t be able, of course to go all the way to the UK again. No money, leh. However, I have also chanced upon a course in University of Westminster which comes with a full scholarship. Yep, full equals 100% tuition fees, living expenses AND flight tickets.

Of course la, the course isn’t something like engineering or IT. It is an MSc in International Service Management. Something related to service and management.

My colleague whom I have spoken to asked me to think real hard on what I want at the end of the day, ie, would I want to still stay with the same company? Or would I want to change to a completely new line of work?

Honestly, I do not know. I thought that I was going to be stuck forever in customer service. It was CS that i did when I graduated and also CS when I joined my current company. But for the past 2 years, I did some marketing, too. Although it isn’t a full-fledged one, but still.

So, will I wander into something different again?

That, I don’t think I have the answer to. Maybe I will stay on, maybe I will leave – after doing my Masters. Depending on whether I get something better, of course.

Sigh…

Anyway, back to the subject – I have also expressed interest to mom that I wanted to do a course and now she is bugging me to start. I was like whoa… I said I wanted to, not start now, but her rationale was; the earlier you start the better. And of course, if I did my Masters, my brother would probably follow suit. (Hey, bro, you wanna take your Masters, too?)

I know if I take the plunge, (1) my money will be all gone invested into my education (2) my social life will be non-existent put on hold for at least 2 years (3) I will have to juggle my time between studying and working

BUT

(1) At least I know I will still be ‘marketable’ – since everyone has a degree nowadays and Masters qualification is picking up (2) have something to fall back on in case I don’t have any children to take care of me when I am old (3) boost to my pride confidence

SHOULD I? SHOULD I?

Co-curricular activities

I was having a conversation with my colleagues few days ago about the co-curricular activities in schools. (I actually had a conversation with one colleague and then another 2 in separate occasions). We remembered having them, too, and how we loathe them.

First of all, what I do not understand is why students have to be forced in taking up certain activities that they do not like. Yes, in the pretext of making our lives more meaningful as students, not concentrating on studies only but be equally good in these out-of-classes activities, the school management actually forces students to join these clubs and societies.

I know they mean well, but couldn’t these adults understand that there are certain things that some students like and some, dislike? I, for example, hates any sort of sports. Yes, I admit that I am not particularly active and it isn’t really good, but does every one actually like netball, basketball or ping pong or badminton?

NO!

Even if you told the teachers that you don’t like them, you still have to participate. Yeah, go for these scheduled activities and sit there under the hot sun watching others play. What a waste of time! We might as well spend time in the library! Anyway, PE in school was a total bore. The PE teachers knew only how to gather every one, throw us a ball and then let us do whatever we want.

Hey, come on! Do something more interesting!

If lets say our PE lessons (or co-curricular activities) have more interesting classes like aerobics, body balance, yoga, pilates, belly dancing, archery, etc, I’m sure our lives would be so much more fulfilled, right?

Btw, I ended up joining the cheerleading team (yes, you read right! — the cheerleading team) knowing well enough I won’t be selected (I don’t want to be selected, anyway) and when I can’t do splits or high jumps, I am disqualified.

So, no more stupid practices.

Well, those were the days.

But I am aware that the situation are getting tougher nowadays in schools with demerit points being awarded if a student misses these activities. Well, you can award demerit points but what are you teaching the child by forcing them to participate. Don’t they know that force purts people off? At the end of the day, every one hates school, including the parents. 

People will slowly lose trust, take their child out of school, put them into international schools or home school them. So, who will be at loss?

Another thing I don’t understand is the way they make students collect donations. Hello? They are just kids. How do you expect tjhem to go round the neighbourhood to ask for money? If you need funds, just organise a canteen day, or some fund raising activity like car wash or something like that where adults can monitor them.

Even adults feel awkward asking for money and you ask kids to solicit funds? I wonder who came up with this idea.

I remember coming home with those Jogathon / Walkathon cards and being at a loss on what to do. Can’t expect my parents, cos they have a business to run and they have no time to entertain me. My family’s not rich, so, how much could we donate? Unlike those with parents who are well-to-do, work in air-conditioned offices and have loads of colleagues to ask for favours, I have none. Imagine how hard it was for a child.

Sigh. Education in M’sia.