I was having my facial last Thursday and as usual, chatted with my beautician. Our conversation somehow led to the topic of education. She is pregnant with her second child and lamented to me on how expensive things are nowadays and how difficult it is to bring up a kid, let alone two.
So, I was just telling her to start saving money now – perhaps start on an education fund – because her kids’ education itself is going to take up a whole lot of money she can ever imagine. If her son says he wants to become a doctor, it would cost her close to RM1 million just to send him overseas.
She was of course shocked and went into the denial stage where she commented that her son might not be the studious type and might not become a doctor.
So, I told her about my cousin – who didn’t like to study, who didn’t do well and whose parents thought that as soon as he gets out from Form 5, he’s going to work. So, this boy joined some entertainment company and was trained to become a magician. He loved the job, and learnt fast. He was talented. Thus, ambition wise, he wanted to go overseas to sharpen his skill.
Alas, the parents could not afford it. There are no courses he could learn here and even so, there might be no future. In this country, I mean.
If he could train overseas, perhaps he could be the best. He could join companies like Disneyland around the world or even Universal Studios as a magician. He is now with Amway while freelancing as a magician. Sad, but true.
Anyway, to my dismay, she didn’t get the point. Rather than realising the importance of saving regardless of whether her child likes studying or not, she proceeded to comment that she wouldn’t want any of her child to move away from her, let alone go overseas.
Shocked, I asked if she didn’t want her children to be successful and if there are no opportunities that they like here, what were they going to do.
Shrugging, she just said that probably she’d ask them to start a small business and get on with life.
I wanted to scream – but it’s their life! what if they are unhappy?! are you going to make them stay with you just because you want them to be with you?! – but didn’t.
Jeez…. I didn’t want to be mean but I could not believe that there are still parents who are so shallow.
I told my mom this and she just said – it’s not up to her anyway. when your child wants to leave you, they’d leave. Which I think is really true.
I might not be a mother yet, but I feel that parents should always think what’s best for their child(ren). If they need to leave you for greener pastures somewhere else, then be it. True, you’d feel devastated, longing for their company, but isn’t that how life should be? I don’t think my parents would ever stop my brother or I if we need to leave the nest for a better future. Maybe it’s just different with some people.
I wish she’d see that someday.