Well, well, I declare that as of now, I am in a dilemma. Okay, it’s not that I’ve got the job, but I was called for an interview. And, to top it all, everything just fell into place nicely. It was as if it’s meant to be.
After my previous post I felt worse, and even though having talked to other people about it, I still wasn’t sure I wanted the job. Darn, why am I so happy in my current position? The stress that I had to go through everytime there is an exhibition and the workload (nowadays, since we are short of one staff) don’t seem to sap my motivation. Why?
Anyway, after I had submitted my application, I had wanted to leave it to fate. I told myself two things:
1) if they call me when I am attending to a customer and I can’t pick up, I’ll just leave it as it is. No need to attend the interview
2) if they asked me to go for an interview during a working day, I’ll say I can’t take leave and give up
1) when they called, I was looking right at the phone, realising that it was them (can tell from the number mah!) and free to answer it
2) they scheduled my interview to be right on my annual leave (it was scheduled to be one of my CNY holiday)
so, when she asked me if I am still interested and she’d like to invite me for an interview, I said yes.
And after putting down the phone, I went like – darn! what did I just do? I thought I’d say no? And so, the dilemma begins. Yes, I had been talking to some people, mom included, about this. I really, really didn’t feel like going, but sending in an application and then saying no is not a very responsible thing to do. Anyway, at one point of time, I told myself that I am going there, and I am doing a good job (even if I don’t want the post?) so that I won’t regret it later. Yes, of course, I did just that.
I think I had done well in the interview but the writing part was a bit of a fiasco. Yea, I thought I should be able to do well in that but writing for pleasure and writing under stress is 2 completely different issue.
Mom had not been helpful either. One hour she is telling me to stay and another she tells me its better to leave. I was like, huh? So you wanna add on to my dilemma instead of givign me constructive advice? No doubt the new place would sound more prestigious to begin with (and the money of course) but what if I can’t fit in as well as I do here? What if I can’t perform? What if the grass isn’t greener on the other side?
Too many what ifs, I know.
OK, it’s not that you are offered the job already, you might say, but who knows? What am I supposed to tell them IF they call? Geez, I never knew decisions like these were so hard. Only if I am still in TC – I would’ve prayed I will get the job.
Sigh… I guess I’ll need to go and toss a coin.